Pages

Friday, 7 June 2013

My Narrative


The cavern.

Dead water were at war with each other while the starless dawn covered the sleeping moonlight. Painted oak in the shape of a kayak held four sleepless friends. Hijacked by careless people and left to suffer and perish. Lived on the cruiseship and treated it like a pet since they were young. Michael’s 27th birthday. A year older than the others. Shadows overcast the sea as a slightly over sloped cavern subdued among the smooth twilight horizon. Water was rushing against the kayak as the men slowly used simple twigs they found dead on the sea. Lightning and thunder decorated the black sky with terror as they finally found sanctuary. Jack. Daniel. Michael. Nelson. Home...

Silence murdered the sound, but gave mercy on a faint dripping sound that gave hope to the ongoing darkness. Deep within the midst of the unknown a creature was moving within the darkness. Survival of the fittest. Daniel threw a fist at the ebony shadow, thus causing anger to strike the hostile creature like a little girl having a fit. Followed by the monster's jaws to Ara’s leg and dragged him into the horrifying midst known as the monsters home. It rallied a second feast reaching for Nelson but missed. Jack evaded the ongoing a spiked and jagged piece of rock and was stunned. Michael jumped back into the kayak and rowed his hardest.

Dusk was already in action as the sun fell into a deep sleep and the psychotic cave was waiting for Michael’s return. His heart was jumping out of place. He regretted looking back on the horror of that cave. The endless sea was waiting to eat him alive. He had nowhere to go before the ship that was stolen from them returned for him.
















4 comments:

  1. Great Work Jayden,
    What A way to star and finish your Narrative.
    Well Done

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great narrative Jayden, you have used descriptive language that really paints a picture and sets a scene in the readers mind. You have really set the bar high, for next think of some other ways you could have ended your narrative. Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow Jayden,

    Your narrative really blew me away... I really liked the way you started the story with a punch. You used great descriptive in-depth thinking.

    Keep up The Great Thinking!


    Taylor

    ReplyDelete